2012 Challenge - Day 4

4) What will be the last place you visit?
The last place I'd like to visit is the arms of a person I love. I know it doesn't really answer the question very well but I'd genuinely love to spend my last moments with a person I have close feelings for because I think that the people that mean most to me make me the best person I can be and help me live the best way I can. I want to end everything just being with someone, even if it's snuggling up with my teddy bear ^-^ because teddy bears offer me a lot of comfort and make me happy ^-^ The end.


Onto a different topic, I am really upset at the moment. I just feel let down, hurt, stressed, guilty and I'd love to bury myself in my pillow and cry for the rest of the week. Just when I think life couldn't possibly get any better, everything starts to f*ck up and I'm ended up in a total mess. Lemme give you a few details. On New Years Eve, I was completely and utterly broken and I needed help. That was a major lowlight of my entire life but lately, I've had a lovely friend (my yewwo teddy bear ^-^) that seems to just make everything better. He can always cheer me up nowadays and conversations with him are absolutely hilarious. His insults are SO harsh though. Jeez, bully much? Since when did chinks make racist jokes against other chinks for being chink?:') Psch idiot. JK Love you really:')! Life as a whole improved because I have so many friends beside me, I have my family beside me and everything seemed so right. I became closer with my friends at school and although I've stopped talking to so many people I was close to, I've made new friends and it doesn't matter anymore. Everything was absolutely perfect till yesterday at around quarter to 11PM when I got a text from the exact reason I was a total mess at the start of the year. I didn't know how to reply to it so I kinda just left it but things got worse. A good friend of mine got hurt, another close friend of mine has been really upset and I found out yesterday and both reasons were because of this one f*cking idiot. I am there for my friends, always. If you are a friend of mine and I value our friendship, I will be there for you even if I'm about to die or have an exam the following day or I've just been mugged or anything. I'd be there for you even if I've been in bed for hours crying my eyes out from something that has emotionally scarred me or upset me to the worst extents. Having two friends upset, a GCSE exam the following day, a drunk ex-bf talking to me and so much crap to do, I was just f*cked over. How can everything so perfect become so utterly cr*p in the space of 2 hours? Hearing the story from different viewpoints has totally confused me and I don't know which one to believe. I definitely know which story I'd never believe though, never in a billion light years. This is how I dealt with it: My phone stopped working so I stayed talking to one uninvolved friend through skype whilst finishing my revision. By that time, texts started working and I arranged to meet one of my friends. Somewhere in between, I sent a few p*ssed off texts to my ex and I got ready for school.  I went into school and f*cking f*cked up my GCSE exam and just died. When will someone give me a hug and tell me that everything with be just fine? I really need someone to just let me rant and then when I'm out of steam, just give me a cuddle and make me smile.


'If your heart wears thin, I will hold you up and I will hide you when it gets too much. I'll be right beside you.'


Why does everything go wrong when you're most happiest? I looked at myself  clearly in the mirror today and god, I look a total mess. In all honesty, I don't give a sh*t anymore so y'knoo, deal with it.


'What you don't know can't hurt you?'


Okay I'm off for a nap. Bye.~