The worst 2 days ever.

Don't you hate it when you lose someone, then you realise how having them in your life made everything seem so much better and livable (I don't think that was a word)?

Somehow in the last week, I've managed to lose:

1) Someone that's pretty much my sister. (They're abandoning me in the devil country. They haven't died.)

2) My purse.

3) A heart folded out of money. (It was in my purse >.<, sorry Andy:(!!!)

4) My old oyster card.

5) All my library cards.

6) Anything else that was in my purse.

7) My phone. (I haven't lost it, it just refuses to work)

8) My laptop. (I haven't lost that either but it refused to refused to work earlier and I was like WHAT THE F*CK?!)

9) All my liveliness. (I sleep when I'm depressed.)

10) All my energy. (I sleep when I'm depressed.)

11) All my appetite. (I refuse to eat when something is bothering me, making me unhappy or when I'm depressed or when I'm ill actually.)

12) All of my will to resist to do  something that I once hated and had morals against. I know it's wrong but it's necessary at this time in life.

and lastly-

13) Someone that means the world to me. (They haven't died either.)

Is it right to tell someone that they mean absolutely nothing to you, they're worthless, you hate them, everything they've told you is a lie, each piece of emotion you felt for them was fake and another whole load of total cowpat (I don't like swearing on here ^^)? I did have a reason for telling such an awful lie though, it hid the truth. If I told the the truth, I guess I'd be hurting them even more in the future, is that worth it? I don't mind suffering the pain and hurt now, I just don't want them to feel worse in the future. I miss him.